Every Motivation Monday, I try to bring my readers something motivational. Yesterday, I attended church and the pastor was teaching on the power of forgiveness. I remember growing up how I believed my father was one of the meanest men in the world. He would not let me stay out past midnight, I remember him saying “Nothing good happens after midnight, Shonda”.
But seeing my friends going out and having fun after midnight did not seem bad. That was until you would hear about shooting at the house parties or fights breaking out. Later on, I realized it wasn’t my father trying to keep me away from living the life. It was him protecting me. Isn’t it funny how you grow older and the veil begins to fall opening up reality to you.
I remember being out of work years ago, A friend.. Well.. (I thought we were friends) and I would talk about places we applied for. We would chat about the job descriptions, pay, and how we pray to Jesus that we’d start working for the company one day. After several conversations about the potential of gaining employment. I noticed during one conversation, she mentioned a recruiters name at another employer we previously discussed. I quickly mentioned that’s not the recruiters name at this job, all of a sudden it clicked! She was going behind my back applying for jobs that I was applying for. Now, If you are truly friends… Wouldn’t you ask if your friend if they mind if you apply as well? I mean, you are friends right?
After realizing this and other things that happened.. Needless to say we aren’t friends anymore. It took me a long time to forgive her for being misleading. I felt so hurt by her actions. Forgiveness is something not for others, But really for yourself. By forgiving her and her actions it gave me the ability to move on.
Here are a few things I learned yesterday about the Power of forgiveness:
Moving past hurt must be done on purpose.
Moving past hurt requires humility.
Moving past hurt requires patience.
Steps to Forgiveness when hurt:
We Feel the frustration or anger
We decide to forgive
We move to the next steps.
Forgiveness is definitely not an easy thing. I hold on to things a lot longer than I should.
Masshole Mommy,
Forgiveness allows let go. It’s not easy, But when you do it. I promise you will feel lifted.
Oh boy, forgiveness is something I have been working on for a long long time now. Sometimes it is so hard to forgive the things that you feel have had such a profound effect on you, but maybe it is your inability to forgive that is actually having the negative effect.
Kathleen you can do it, Forgiveness is good for the soul!
I always thought I was so good at this, until someone in my family really hurt me. It took me a lot longer to let go than I ever would have predicted, but I did and I even went to visit over the summer (after not talking to her for years). It did feel good to let go and move forward.
Rosey, I’m happy it worked out for you!
I tend to forgive easily becasue I hate to dwell, it’s not healthy. Depending on the situation though, If a “friend” or family member does me wrong, I can forgive but will remain leery of the particular person.
Trisha, I used to dwell on it. But I noticed people moved on and I didnt. It was killing me.
I have learned also that forgiving is sometimes the only way we can move on/
Debbie, It’s the only way for me.
I don’t have any of these issues right now but know some people who could benefit from a little forgiveness.
maria, Its great when you dont have issues!
This is a wonderful post. Too often, we don’t forgive because we think it’s for the other person. It’s really for us, though. It’s not healthy to hold on to those horrible feelings. They’ll eat you up!
Thank you Stacey!
Forgiveness helps us to move on. I find that it helps me to be a better person and fell relieved.
Alisha, me too!
It’s definitely hard to forgive even thought we are taught to do it from a young age. Grudges don’t seem to help anyone though.
Liz I agree!
I find that when it comes to moving on, I’m not very good at forgiving people! Thanks for sharing though!
Dawn, We have to get better. It’s more for you than them.
It’s sometimes hard to forgive but it’s so important – for yourself.
Lois, You are right!
I’ve learned a lot about forgiveness, including that it is an ongoing process. It’s a peeling the onion experience, one that we live in daily – else we will find ourselves right back where we started from. Be quick to forgive and slow to anger.
Preach! I agree
It’s hard to forgive, but it is so lightening when we do. Forgiveness helps lift the weight.
I agree
I find it very hard to let things go. even after i say i do i let it hurt me inside.
Letting things go is the best thing you can do.
This was a nice look at forgiveness. So iften we hokd grudges forever. This is a nice discussion about another, better way to live.
I love the quote. It is so well said and the perfect quote to start off the week with.
I can honestly say I don’t think I’d be where I am in life if I hadn’t learned to forgive certain people.
This was a lovely post. Really makes me think about the things I need to forgive and try to find the strength to do it. And you Dad sounds like a great guy!
My problem isn’t forgiving, it’s usually forgiving and letting go which is true forgiveness.
Amanda, I know letting go seems to be the hardest part.
I cannot live without forgiving people. I hate to hold grudges!
Amy,
I used to hold grudges. But God! I can let it go now.
It is hard to move past the hurt especially when it continues to happen over and over. Thank you for this honest post.
Melissa,
You are so welcome!
Thank you so much for this. I have a whole lot of forgiving to do right now.
Danielle,
You are so welcome!